It was the kind of morning in which about two hours into the day you are debating about whether or not to go back to bed. Enough had happened in the short time I was awake that I considered a restart might be best. I could list the things here that happened, but in truth, none of them were that consequential. But the events combined? Enough to consider a nap at 8am. Things were not going my way.
I had a lot of work to do, so going back to bed wasn’t in the cards. But, I could go get a quick workout in. Exercise always helps me work out my frustrations, so I decided to drive to the gym to pound them out on the stair master.
On the twenty-minute drive to the gym, I was cut off in traffic, nearly broadsided by another driver, and then miraculously evaded having a college student on the hood of my car when they decided that crossing the street in 40mph traffic, not at a crosswalk, was a good idea. I made it to the parking lot of the gym and put my head on the steering wheel thinking maybe it was a bad idea to leave the house.
I approached the gym and even though I knew it would help, I was having a hard time moving through the entry doors. I eventually made myself go in, but my card would not scan to open the entry gate. The clerk at the counter then checked her computer screen and then told me my payment had not gone through and I could not go in unless I gave them a credit card. I told her I just saw my monthly fee debited from my account and she told me that was impossible. “According to the system,” she said, “you are delinquent.” I am not a scene-maker. I do not raise my voice in public places. But I was ready to lose it here with Janet at the front counter. I was convinced at that moment that all universal forces and the people it directed were working against me. Instead of leaving, I was ready to go to battle. I pulled out my phone, pulled up my banking app, and showed the helpful clerk the payment coming out of my account. She asked if I would wait in the lobby for a moment while she talked to the tech person about this. I very impatiently said yes.
I sat down in one of the lobby chairs. I was not happy with life or people in general at this moment. I was angry, I was grumpy, I was in the low-level place where someone was going to be on the receiving end of it. I would give this employee a few minutes to work this out and then I had to go, but before I left, I would let them know how upset I was and what an awful way to conduct business this is. Then my phone did something that changed the course of that day and every day since.
The night before this all happened, I watched the movie Jules. It’s the story of a UFO crash-landing in an elderly gentleman’s backyard. Hijinks ensue. It’s a sweet film. But what I really enjoyed about the movie (other than Ben Kingsley playing Milton, the lead character) was the score. I found it on Spotify and added it to my library. I am not usually a person who listens to film scores, but I do have a few favorites. This was one of them.
So, back to that morning in the lobby of the YMCA. I am sitting there, brimming with anger, waiting for the employee. I decided to put my AirPods in and click the noise cancelling button. I will keep my eyes open for her to return, but otherwise, I want no other stimulation that might worsen what has already been the morning of my discontent. At that moment, I notice my shoelace is untied and when I lean over in my chair to tie the lace, I move just right so that music starts playing on my phone. It’s the first song on the soundtrack. (You can click below to hear what I began to hear at that moment.)
The music is all I hear. Because of the noise-cancelling feature on my headphones, I don’t hear the voices of the people talking in the lobby. I don’t hear the water fountain next to me turning on when a man leans in to take a drink. Just the music. And everything changes. I see a woman walk in and greet her friend who is waiting for her with a huge smile and hug. I see an elderly man wearing a terry headband moseying in to the lobby with a gym bag he’s probably had since 1985. I see a little boy run out of the daycare room and into his dad’s arms. A woman laughing in the corner at something another woman said. And the soundtrack music is playing while I witness all of this and it’s like watching a beautiful movie play out in front of me. But it’s real. I live in it. And then I thought of myself being a character in this movie. And this music playing as people watch this crazy woman (me) deal with her crazy morning. And suddenly it’s funny. And beautiful. And real. And then as I sit in the lobby of the Y, tears are leaving my eyes and my anger along with them.
I’ve thought a lot about movie soundtracks and scores since that morning. We all know music brings about emotion. But what would the beginning of Star Wars be without John Williams’s score? Would it be as exciting? The song at the end of LaLa Land? I was a sobbing mess. What about the beginning of Top Gun? It would just be a bunch of dudes on an aircraft carrier if not for Harold Faltermeyer and Kenny Loggins. Same with Chariots of Fire - just some guys running on a beach. But instead, we are all crying because of Vangelis. Put your life to a soundtrack and the beauty grows exponentially.
I was picking Maia up from a school function and football practice was just finishing up. As I waited for her, Arrival of the Birds began to play through the car stereo.
You guys, watch kids sweating and playing their hearts out to this song. The beauty and magic of life on display.
We live these lives, these days that are filled with work, with family, with tasks that on the surface level can seem mundane. The lawn needs to be mowed. The laundry needs to be done. Pick-up from practice has to happen. And it is the daily beauty of our lives. The lawn that sits in front of the beautiful home that we were once so excited to buy needs to be mowed. The washing of the clothing we feel represents us to the world. The pick-up of the child that we are fortunate enough to have as our son or daughter that you’re about to take for ice cream because you can. The life of the man who almost sideswiped me on the road to the gym having a worse day than I was. The college student who walked in the middle of traffic, distracted by thoughts of the test they were on their way to take.
Our life is a compilation of stories. Most importantly, the stories we are telling ourselves as it happens. There will be moments when the story has a low bass note playing. There will be moments when it’s the two notes that make up the theme to Jaws. But mostly, I hope it’s the Jules soundtrack. Amelie too. Some new ones to come that I haven’t heard yet. I choose a variety of music as the soundtrack of my days so that I am reminded that the moments of my life, even the mundane ones, are central to the plot. None of them are wasted. Even a song and a trip to the gym can be life-changing.
What is a soundtrack/score that would be a theme to your days?
I used to love Edward Scissorhands, but I haven’t listened to it in a long time.