Hello Again

The Replenishing Goodness of a Pause

The calendar says February 4th and I have returned from my short sabbatical - from writing, from producing creative work. I have felt so many shifts these past two months - within and outside of me - and the only path from there to here that seemed clear was a silent one. I felt the changes bringing me to a new version of myself, so much so that decisions that were usually easy and mundane took a moment to decide. What did I want to eat? Which way to take home? Even speaking at times, I could not find the words to adequately express what I wanted to say. The only action seemed to be to take was no action - to pause, to rest.

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I dreamt of a woman on horseback in a wide-open field, limitless, as far as the eye can see. The horse stands proud and still, head high, eyes ahead, unafraid. The woman has the reins and part of the horse’s hair in one hand, twisting it to secure her grasp. The other hand is resting on the horse’s side to signal to wait, let us sit a moment before we decide which direction to break into our stride. Sitting on the broad back of this formidable creature, the rider is assured, supported, strong in will, yet trusting the powerful force that carries her.

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What does one call a period of life like this? A dark night of the soul? A soul shift? Maybe it doesn’t need a name, it just is. We enter in one form and exit another. I have read that the body’s cells regenerate every seven to ten years. Maybe there is a period of life where each cell in the body somehow regenerates at the same time. Instead of a lung cell renewing now and a liver cell renewing later, they all join forces in time and the body is made new at once. Not only do we feel different, we are different, on a cellular level.

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I took this time of renewal to sit, to be quiet, to read, to cook, to be with family. Some things that were on this path with me:

My friend, Brandon Andress’s book Deep Calls to Deep.

I took this time to step away a bit from the entertainment of screens to the less intense stimulation of books. Brandon’s book was the perfect way to ease into my day. I considered it almost a study session into the depths. This book is a collection of essays Brandon wrote over many years - essays that cover areas from Divine Love and Healing to Mindfulness and Community. Some weeks are a single essay with a question to reflect upon, others are daily questions that require some deeper digging.

I have considered it such a blessing and companion over the past couple of months. I highly recommend it.

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This blanket:

which I am underneath in this picture. Did you know that grief and dramatic life shifts require sleep? Probably easy to guess if not experienced. My dear friend, Sarah, gave me this blanket and I use it daily. It is heavy and fluffy at the same time, a most comforting combination.

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Nourishing, bone-warming food

Beef Bourguignon and mashed potatoes to be exact. I made it once and ate for a few days following. This was not a time for lighter fare. My cells were being regenerated.

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Play

We are in a time where some may say it is not a time for play, it is not a time for spiritual growth, to dig into our souls to see who they are, what they are made of. I would say it is exactly the right time. While our world continues to shift more quickly than ever before, let us ground deeper into who we are so that we have the foundation within to be a part of that shift in whatever capacity we feel called. In these times, it is easy to feel solemn and sober one moment and then step outside and seeing the beauty, the life that is all around us. We are pulled back into the moment. We are not frivolous or silly. The contrary. We are fueling ourselves to do our work in the world.

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If you share this time of transformation with me, welcome. If you feel a pull to move inward, go. As Brandon says in his book, “I hope we will journey together through the muck and mire of daily distractions toward a deeper embrace of wonder guided by Divine Love.”

I will be waiting here when you return.

Much love and many blessings.

Seja

Link to Brandon’s book:

https://www.amazon.com/Deep-Calls-Brandon-Andress/dp/1964252253/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2O95U5SJXB4F6&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.nny5wRgDGuY_fwN74zdjJZLDzzvGNe-k4qwfLuHWR4Fef4yGh-X-6ccFyXHFzgLZBoZ3xWCXbAxMbVQjAAWygDs8BE4pImwmff1L_OWr2daD1GnMMehpG-qNaZZo8YteenFBxiG1BYzv9znwlimJ74YN2spN3fQ9p3m_UaOMlSy8gh6DfiD30nX9keWzdmytiSeN3Mm1NmdZamgopB-21b1a7it8fnP86HFOZ31iaZI.3itZRLjGjYvioF3wzeWlIzzC9CO9wbS2C-I7NHamgT4&dib_tag=se&keywords=Deeper+Calls+to+Deep&qid=1738632043&sprefix=deeper+calls+to+deep%2Caps%2C139&sr=8-1